Monday, September 27, 2010

TotLoval Levitation Technology.

Tot, the consultant, floats up next to the Boss -- his monthly envelope of assurances slipped in between the pages of a proposal.


Basic Capitalization of Modern TotLoval Levitation Technology. 

To present a vision statement of the future in order to
  • keep up with customer demand, 
  • remain ahead of the curve, 
  • be focused, 
  • best of breed,
  • client-centered.
When considering ways to improve our core competency, the recent startling discovery that gravity is an illusion caused by a break in space-time resulting from boZon(tm) collision makes it possible for us to dream about harnessing that power to produce an improvement on the standard elevator.

These boZon(tm) collisions cause an imbalance that needs to be rectified, and it is that process of rectification that produces what we feel as gravity. If you interrupt that rectification process long enough to move the interupted mass to another position in space-time -- to "miss" in other words -- and perform this shift often enough and fast enough, gravity is effectively nullified.

But, to get to a practical result requires thinking outside the box -- a complete paradigm shift.

Viewing the big 360-degree picture at the 60,000 foot level, by leveraging our current knowledge base we can actualize what will really contribute to our core excellence.  By harnessing Affective BoZon(tm) Collision Rectification Interruption Technology (ABCRIT(pat. pend.)), we can leverage controlled space-time interruption rectifications to achieve a stand-alone BoZon(tm) Activated Levitation Device (the BALD(tm)) that will bring us into the 21nd century and beyond.

But after all, it's people that will keep us world class, so a nimble tiger team, pushing the envelope to avoid analysis paralysis will, for the first BALD(tm) POC, use a multidisciplinary result-driven approach to peel this onion and produce a BALD(tm) with a ballpark non slipping lifting capacity of 17.3182(+/-) grams.

In the meantime, in order to assure complele safety when handling heavier loads, each BALD(tm) platform will have, as a safety feature, fully backward-compatible lifting capabilities using an archaic system of cable and counterweight.

Whether we go up or down, A new BALD(tm) technology is a win-win for our business.


The Boss says to Tot, "What the fuck is this about?" Tot replies with another package of assurances surrounding a bottle of lotion. The Boss approves the project amid sweet whimpers of pleasure.

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